Sunday, December 11, 2011

Because I'm just a kid [at heart] and I have been good this year...


I wish there were no such things as sicknesses and diseases and disorders. Everyone would just exist without worrying about what will happen to them. A carefree life. [A careLESS life] Worry. That's the devil. I wish there was no such thing as worrying. When people hear bad news, they'd just skip the worrying part and fast forward to having a clear head to be able to solve the problem. Worrying intesifies the fear. It turns fear into a mutant one.

Today, I heard one of those kinds of news. The one that can make you have massive palpitations right after drinking brewed coffee. When you hear something that might determine your future, you start hyper-speed thinking. Your head starts to ache and you're just ruined for the rest of the day (maybe even the week/month). Those aren't the "appropriate" reactions but those are the initial ones for a paranoid person like me. When I heard the news, I start thinking why it's come to this. Why did I let this get out of control? Bakit ang tigas ng ulo ko? I think I need a therapist who can answer all these. I almost always understand myself, but this one... This is too Da-Vinci-Code-esque for me to decipher. I just got really scared and again, I started to worry so bad. Whenever this happens to me, I cover my ears and close my eyes for me to calm myself down. I don't wanna hear or see anything so I can give way for my brain to work properly. I just wish that by doing that, I could actually get some answers.

I know the directions and how to get to where I wanna go. I just have no idea why it's so hard for me to take that first step. I just wish the people around me motivate me the right way, but I know that's asking WAY too much. Plus, everything that I do will be up to me. No matter how much people around me offer motivations, it'd be me who will still make the first move. Everything that's happening to me, I only have myself to blame.

Whenever life slaps you in the face, you start taking it seriously. It leaves a giant mark on your face to remind you that it means business. I guess all I gotta do is ALWAYS look myself in the mirror and see that slap mark.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Decisions (big ones) and Moments with Friends (little ones)


Last October, I found out I was gonna be an Octoberian. After the Econ 122 (HARDCORE financial economics course) scare, I actually thought I was gonna be an April 2012 baby. But I managed to maintain my Economics Weighted Average (EWA) so here I am. Though I don't have any proof yet that I already graduated (no diploma or TOR yet because of the damn slow-ass admin), I can give you my grades in all the 137++ units I took.

Finding out I was actually done with college was a blast at first. I was glad that all that hardwork actually paid off. All those here-comes-the-suns, pimples, readings, caffeine in my blood, scolds from my landlady, etc. It was done. That was it. But then when it was beginning to sink in, I started getting scared. I didn't think I was ready to face the world outside of school (I don't like calling it "real world" because wherever you are, that is your real world). College was my comfort zone. If I could get paid to be a perpetual student, I'd SO be! But reality slapped me in the face and reminded me that I belong in a Filipino family that expects its children to eventually provide for their parents and siblings once they start working. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with that (a little). Heck, I wanna spoil my parents to death! And that's exactly why I got scared in the first place; because I was being pushed to execute everything that I have planned my entire school life. I'm now expected to make the right decisions because the decisions I make from now on are the ones that will matter. The ones that will help me execute those very ambiguous plans.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. Before, I could make them in a snap. Green or Blue? Green! (:p) Heels or flats? Flats! Jeans or leggings? Jeggings! Harry Potter or Twilight? You're stupid! There were moments when it was a little more complicated. Cellphone or laptop? hmm... Sleep or coffee right before an exam? hmm... To do thesis or drink with an old friend? hmmmm... (:p) Now, there is a whole new level of mutant complication in making decisions. To take a break first and just chill for a while or look for a job right away? To take that job that pays WAY less than your expected salary because you're after the experience or screw experience and bring me the moolahs?! Everything is moving too fast. The world is not even waiting for me to make my decisions. Maybe I'm the one who's moving too slow. If that's the case, then I MUST pick up the pace. It's very comforting to know that my parents are there to guide me with these decisions. I feel like I'm walking on a string blindfolded, and I'm glad my parents are there screaming which direction I should go to.

I must make big decisions from now on because whatever I come up with right now WILL matter in the long run. I must make do with that damn string and slowly lift that blindfold over my head until I can clearly see what's up ahead.

---------------------------------------

On another note... I had my gradwar (:p) celebration last weekend. Of course there were booze (lots and lots of them), food (also lots and lots of them), and friends (just a few of them). [♪♫ These are a few of my favorite things. ♫♪] I wanted to spend a night with my close friends maybe for the last time (not an emo statement... just facing reality...). I wanted to do things that we always did before. Eat, drink, get drunk, laugh, make fun of others, make fun of each other, eat, drink, get drunk. I never really liked hosting an event or "party" but for these people, I would do a lot more. These people tolerated my corny jokes, my sudden emotional shifts, my opinions, my laziness, my grammar corrections, my foul comments, my judging self, ME. These people put up with me and the craziness I came with. I love these people to death. I say "I love you" way too many times, but this time, I really mean it. I do not understand how these people managed to let me in to their lives. I have trouble letting people in mine, but with them, it was as easy as blinking my eyes. It also happened that fast. In just one blink, these people became part of my routine. I hate to think that that was the last time I was going to see them. I'm still hopeful, but I will not expect. Destiny. :)

For now, I will hang on to the little moments these people left me with. The arguments we let pass because even if we know we're all smart, we are better friends with each other. That one night when I had no place to sleep in and you guys accompanied me in Jollibee. The "Why do you think WE SHOULD hire you?" moment. That one night we ate Isko-ramble and stayed at the track oval to chat. That time when we raided bookstores in different malls. Those times in Sarahs/Drews/Delish/Sefali. Sleep overs in my house. New Year's eve in MOA. The egg yolks sucked. And who in her right mind would give an Octoberian sunflower seeds because there are no sunflowers in UP for Octoberians? :) These crazy people make me even crazier. But in a very good and kinda high way. :p

I love you guys so much. And it's almost scary how I mean it. Will still wait on destiny to do its job. :)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Fifth Fat One


People say that before a person dies, his whole life's memory flashes before his eyes. In a split second, he'll be able to see the memories in fast forward motion. He'll see all the good and bad ones. He'll see his regrets. He'll see the laughters shared with his friends. He'll see everything... in a flash.

People overlook the fact that this also happens to the people that person leaves behind. We'll also see all the good and bad ones, but tend to focus on the good ones. We'll also see all the memories and laughters shared. We'll also see everything. The only difference is, with him, he's only gonna see it in a flash... in fast forward motion. But us... we will see it in very slow motion for a relatively longer time. We think of all the jokes shared. All the episodes of Friends watched. The epic ballpen thrown to the Reading teacher. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. The seatmate. We will reminisce and reminisce until we can't anymore.

We will look back and try to understand what happened. Try to see if you left any evidence. Try to see what pushed you out of that hotel building.

I'm not gonna pretend that I know you inside and out. But we were really good friends back then. Now, I'm just gonna hang on to the memories of you in that white and blue uniform because those were the good ones.


To be honest, I don't know why you did it. Rest, Marc. Rest in peace.


You will always be the fifth fat one.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

PS: When I'm pissed off, just shut up 'cause I'm singing in my head.


When I woke up this morning, I felt the good vibes flowing in me. I slept for 12 hours [after a loooongg day of ushering students from grades 5 and 6 to attend an environmental lecture] and I felt like I was in heaven. I had no morning classes so that was a ginormous plus. I was so ready to have the most perfect day ever. I went to the library to meet up with my thesis partner and distribute tasks. After that, I had the most boring class EVER then I went to our organization's tambayan to meet up with friends and make my perfect day even more perfect.

The minute I opened the tambayan door, I saw an old friend. One scream did not do justice to how excited I was to see her. I hugged her real tight and immediately caught up with what was up with her life. We haven't seen each other for a little less than a year. We talked about law school, guys, gays, love lives, dead ends and grocery stores. Random things could not escape our conversation. It was real nice to see her. It was always a merry-go-round ride everytime I talk to her. It was always smooth and flowy and it feels like it will go on forever.

Eventually, she had to leave so it was just me and my other close friend in the tambayan. We talked about issues of people around us. She talked to me about one of my closest (best) friends in the organization and the shit that that person has been going through lately. I felt like such a bad "best" (the necessity for quotation marks will be explained later) friend because even if I knew all these things about him, I didn't have the push to bring it up whenever that person is around.

I don't know how to ask a person about his/her problems. I always feel awkward because I, myself, don't like being asked about my shit in life so I don't know how to handle these things. I don't like people asking me about my problems because I feel like they're gonna react the wrong way ("awww" or "it's ok") and I'm just gonna feel even shittier. I have massive trust issues so I'm worried that people might give me the wrong advice. I'm used to dealing with my problems on my own because I know who I am and I know how I do things my way. Some may call it "independence", but I call it "pride". My pride has become abnormally big (due to some circumstances) that it is close to impossible to swallow it. Some people may think it's easy to swallow their pride (maybe because they don't have any), but it is an ENORMOUS struggle for me (I think it's a disorder). I was raised to stand on my own two feet without needing any foot but my own, so bare with me.

I looked back and figured out how I dealt with my bestfriends since highschool. I realized that we lasted this long because they were the ones who would just tell me about their problems/worries. I needn't ask them. Starting a conversation with the goal to know what the problem of whoever I'm talking to is such a struggle to me so I feel like I could never be a good bestfriend. (It's not an emo statement. I'm just purely stating what I think.) I don't like meddling with other people's shit because I don't like being meddled with (how many times must I emphasize this in this entry?). When I'm already in the conversation, that's when I can work my magic. I feel like something or someone must set the mood first before I talk to the person about his/her shit. I'm a pretty good listener and I give real good advice (no humility here, I'm really good... you just have to give me time to think). I guess that's what made my bestfriends since highschool stay with me. I can be real funny most of the time, but I can also be intensely emotional. I just feel bad because even if I know that one of my bestfriends is dealing with his shit, I'm just here, helplessly struggling how to approach him, and watching him deal with the shit on his own when I'm willing to clean up all the shit with him.

[There's still one more thing that I realized about myself today, but I think it'd be better to have a separate entry for that. It's quite heavy.]

So the "perfect day" ended with a dinner (plus tea) with my close friends, lots and lots of trivia from a friend who could shorten them once in a while, finally having a one-on-one session with THAT bestfriend, and me abruptly stopping on my way to our boarding house while screaming in my head because of the staring contest I had with a frog who thinks he's boss.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

"30 Day" Harry Potter Challenge :')


Day 1: Your fave book. Half-Blood Prince. (order of fave books: 6-7-4-3-1-2-5)

Day 2: Your fave movie. Goblet of Fire

Day 3: Is there any of the films adaptations that have made you angry because they’ve ignored important parts of the book. Chamber of Secrets. It has lots of wrong adaptations from the book like when Snape used the Expelliarmus spell on Lockhart in the Dueling Club scene and Lockhart flew into the air when Expelliarmus is used JUST to disarm. O__O And it wasn't clearly stated why the Tom Riddle memory was able to possess Ginny. They murdered that IMPORTANT part of the book.

Day 4: Least fave female character and why. Lavander Brown. She kissed Ron millions of times. Nuff said. (I'd say Bellatrix Lestrange because she effin' killed Sirius Black, but I feel like she's just a victim of her love to Tom Riddle. O__O)

Day 5: Fave male character and why. Hagrid. In a way, he played the role of Harry's dad. And he's just so FLUFFY! :D

Day 6: What house would you want to be in. Hufflepuff! feeling ko mababago ko ung reputation nila of being sabaw. HAHA!

Day 7: Fave female character and why. Professor McGonagall. While Hagrid played the role of the Harry's dad, McGonagall played Harry's mom. In all the books, she's been consistent in supporting and protecting Harry. :)

Day 8: What do you think would be your fave lessons. Charms and Arithmancy. Charms had me when Hermione muttered, "it's not LevioSAR, it's LeVI-Osa," and Arithmancy..... well, it's Math. HAHA!

Day 9: Least fave male character. Mundungus Fletcher. He's an asshole.

Day 10: Horcruxes or Hallows. Hallows.

Day 11: What character would you say you are most like. Fred or George! :p

Day 12: Fave ship. Ron-Hermione 'til the end!

Day 13: Least fave movie. Chamber of Secrets. But ironically, this is the only movie where I memorize almost all the lines in. I watched this when I was in gradeschool so I must have a fantastic long-term memory. :p


Day 14: Team Voldemort or Team Harry. Team Snape.

Day 15: Who would be your best friends at hogwarts. (three only) Fred, George, and Lee Jordan! :D

Day 16: Fave professor. Professor McGonagall.

Day 17: Are you excited about The Deathly Hallows movie or scared it won’t do the book justice. HAHA! I WAS super excited that I dragged my sister after school and watched it on a Monday

Day 18: Least fave book. Order of the Phoenix.

Day 19: Do you prefer the books or films. It's like asking, "Do you prefer your iPod or your phone?"

Day 20: If you had to meet one member of the cast, who would it be. James and Oliver Phelps! :D And Rupert Grint of course. :p And (promise last na... haha!) Tom Felton. OH YEAH! Emma Watson! :D

Day 21: Out of all the characters that died, if you could bring one back, who would it be.Sirius Black or Dobby. :( I'd say Fred, but I feel like it's interesting to see how George can still be George without his twin. :|

Day 22: Harry Potter or Twilight. This is a stupid question. If you can't figure out why, then..........

Day 23: Any part of the books/movies that makes you cry. Books: When Sirius Black, Dumbledore, and Hedwig died. And when Harry found out that he still has some kind of connection to his parents thru Sirius Black. :') Movies: When Hermione erased the memories of her parents and when Snape died.

Day 24: Any particular scene you wished would have been put in the movie but it wasn’t. St. Mungo's scenes. Peeves and Professor Binns scenes. Hogwarts kitchen scenes! O_O


Day 25: Nineteen years later. Are you happy how it turned out, or do you wish something was different, ie Neville married Luna. What is up with the names of the kids? Nuff said. at saan pinulot ni Rowling si Astoria Greengrass. O_O

Day 26: If you could be able to work one spell without a wand what would it be. Definitely Accio. I feel like we waste half of our lives looking for stuff. May it be our pens, glasses, wallets, or even jobs, long lost friends, and love lives. LOL! emo na pala... HAHA!

Day 27: Would you rather own The Invisibility Cloak, The Resurrection Stone or The Elder Wand. Invisibility Cloak.

Day 28: Do you listen to Wrock, what do you think about it. (http://wizardrock.org/) No. :O

Day 29: Did you enjoy A Very Potter Musical. At first it was super funny, but towards the end, it was a bit draggy.

Day 30: What affect has Harry Potter made on your life and how much does it mean to you? Reading Harry Potter books made me realize that anyone can create different worlds inside their heads. I love how Rowling shared hers and made everyone enter it. (I guess that's what writers are really good at.) Whenever I open a Harry Potter book, my surroundings disappear into a world where it is way cooler to stay at school than home, where the function of rubber duckies are of great importance to some, where a clock that has the faces of your children and husband instead of numbers and hands are more functional, and where a malnutritioned boy who cannot see without his glasses make a good seeker. I'd want my copy of the HP series be passed on to my children and their children and their children and their children and so on to make them see themselves buying their wands, dressrobes, books, quills, inks, and cauldrons in Diagon Alley, being able to find Platform 9 and 3/4, ride the Hogwarts Express, and ride the boats to the greatest adventure they could ever imagine just like I did.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

If you had super powers, what would it be?

Whenever I am faced with this question, I always answer invisibility and/or opposite of a dementor's powers (Harry Potter geek, I'm sorry).

Invisibility because who wouldn't want peace and quiet once in a while? Who wouldn't want not to be judged? It's very exhausting to impress other people or just be presentable enough to exist. I'd want to disappear once in a while so no one would be able to bother me. No one would be able to talk to me. No one would be able to come near me. No one would be able to hurt me.

A dementor's "powers" are to suck the soul out of human beings near it. It feeds on the sorrow of the people. It loves despair and fear. The path it walks on dies or becomes cold. When its lips meet a human's, the human will die. That is called the kiss of death. Me, I'd want the complete opposite of a demoentor's powers. I'd want to fill the human's soul happiness. I'd want to feed on every child's laughter and every elders' kisses. I'd love hope and faith. The path I walk on would become calmer and warm. Instead of a kiss, I'd give a hug of hope wherein the person who receives it would fall asleep and wake up the next day with a clear head and lighter heart because I won't be able to solve the person's problem. I could only set up the condition wherein one can think of what to do next. My powers wouldn't offer answers, it just manipulates moods. (If you read Twilight, a more exaggerated power of Jasper's is what I'm talking about.) When you think about it, no one could really solve your problems/sorrows for you. One can only help you get to a solution. If someone solves your problems for you, you won't be able to learn how do it yourself. And that's a scary place to be in. It's like walking thru life blind.

Whenever I'm around people, I'd always want them to have a good time. I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain people. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. This is actually the reason why I want the complete opposite power of a dementor. When I'm around people, I'd want them to feel happy and comfortable with me. I'd want them to feel warmer and happier as if I hugged each of them real hard. This pressure is the reason why I don't like hosting parties. I feel like I'll go crazy when just one person isn't having fun. That pressure can be real heavy at times to a point where I'd just want to stay away from people. This is where the power of invisibility comes in. I'd want to recharge so I could make people happy again.

I could only imagine having both powers. It'd be awesome to make people happy while concealing my true self/emotions. It'd be great to make people love each other without them seeing your sorrows. It'd be fantastic to give people hope while you struggle with yours. Yes, it's very heroic and masochistic in some people's views, but super powers come with a price.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Yellow Light Means Slow Down Not Speed Up

I wish you could stop playing god so we could be great friends already.

I have probably showed you a buttload of affection before (or probably a shitload of NEED for your affection) that made you think I was madly in love with you, but to be honest, I just sought the attention (and the affection). Man, did I like the affection. The last intense affection I received was 6 years ago so forgive me for wanting it so bad. I liked being noticed by you because it meant that I was important. You showered me with sweetness (and again affection), and yes, I loved every drop of it. But that one time, when we sealed the night with something that I thought was such a bad idea the minute I thought of it, I didn't feel anything. Anything that would turn the question marks above my head into lightbulbs. I won't deny that I wasn't expecting to feel something, but when I didn't feel it, I knew that it meant we should just stay friends, and I was more than ok with that. But then you started being weird. You started thinking too much to the point that you were going 100 km/hr when I was only going 60.

I'd like to think that we are good friends. I actually BELIEVE that we are. You're the only person who I can ask subjective questions to and have a straight answer without unnecessary sugar-coating. You're probably the smartest person I know apart from my dad. And I liked how you pushed me to be happy when I wanted the world to be sad with me.

I just frickin' wish you could stop thinking for just a frickin' while. I wish you could see that yellow light lit ever so brightly approaching a red one. I don't feel those things that you think I feel towards you so you could just put the damn wall down and let me in. You need not be in tippy-toes when you're with me. Just be that bestfriend again that I can eternally be shallow with and not have any care about what other people thought. Be that bestfriend that I loved so much.

...Because, to be honest, I miss you like hell.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Destinies, Expectations, Hopes, Mathematics, and Physics

Destiny, what the hell did I ever do to you? Why are you fucking with me? You know that feeling when you're looking forward to something real bad and then it doesn't happen? It's like committing suicide and ending up alive in a hospital. It's like drinking from a glass of what you thought was milk, but is actually water. It's like speeding up on a street expecting lots of speed bumps, but it turns out there are none. Doesn't it feel like crap? To avoid these shit, people came up with "Expect the unexpected." But those people don't know that every human being still expect the expected. We cannot avoid it. We can only modify it. And this is why smart people came up with "Expect the worst, and hope for the best." Yes, these people are smart, but they are not compassionate. They don't know how hard it is to expect the worst out of something. They don't know how easy it is to lose hope and still expect the worst.

Yes, expecting the worst and hoping for the best work. But it's hard to apply in real life. Just like Mathematics and Physics.

PS: Sorry, Destiny, for trying to question your plans. But please make me happy just this once. Please...

Friday, July 1, 2011

Fingers and KFC

Spoon and fork. Fries and ketchup. Pen and paper. Socks and feet. Salt and pepper. Cereals and milk. Architects and engineer. Cookies and cream. Bed and pillow. Winnie and a jar of honey. Tik and tok. Shooting stars and wishes. Night and day. Earth and sun. Ben and Jerry.  Friends and laughter. Friends and company. Friends and love. Friends and sadness. Friends and sleepovers. Friends and anger. Friends and tears. Friends and food. Friends and booze.

Remove the other one and there will be no balance, no functionality, and no equilibirum. One can't be complete without the other. One might survive without the other, but will still and forever remain incomplete.

Things don't need to be overthought. It is just as it is. A friend is a friend. You feel that THING when a bond is made between you and another person. I felt it. And I hope you felt it too.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Days 18-21

Day 18: Film That Is Your Guilty Pleasure
PS I Love You


Who wouldn't wanna watch Gerard Butler all day/week/month/year long?

Day 19: Film That Made You Cry the Hardest
My Sister's Keeper


I shed tears the minute I saw the sister. O_O From the start to the end, I finished a whole box of tissue.

Day 20: Movie with Your Favorite Actress
Two Weeks Notice


Sandra Bullock! /o/ This movie is also epic. Definitely a must-watch.

Day 21: Movie with Your Favorite Actor
Gamer


Gerard Butler. \o/ He's very versatile. He can play a frickin' Spartan and at the same time play a phantom, a lover, a player, and a criminal. <3 He's perfect.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Day 17: Least Favorite Book Adaptation

Day 17: Least Favorite Book Adaptation
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


Ugh. The movie didn't even explain what the hell Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs mean. Rarr. Mess with any book you want, but NOT Harry Potter!

Fifty People, One Question

Directed by Kamil Krolak


The thing about regrets is that the person who made the most mistakes (providing he/she learned from them) would not have one. Mistakes are made by doing the wrong things to others, thinking the wrong things even if you know the right ones, etc. If you learned from your mistakes you would not have any reason to want to go back and change anything that you did.  Regrets only exist with missed opportunities. Things that you wish you did but, for some excuse that you made, you didn't. It's definitely a million-dollar question when you're asked what your biggest regret is because missed opportunities exist every moment in all of us. Whether it'd be not learning to play any kind of musical instrument or not marrying your college sweetheart 'til 50 years after. Everything we do has opportunity costs (forgive my Economics point of view). When you decide to do something, you completely abandon doing something else. Regrets are always there but some are not big enough to be categorized as the BIGGEST ones.

Regrets burden us every single day and all we can do is lighten that burden. Lighten them until you reach that point, be able to say, "I have no regrets," and actually believe it.


PS: I like the latter part of the film. After being able to realize their biggest regrets, they turn around and walk away. They decide to go forth and continue living while carrying their heavy baggage just hoping to lighten them the minute they go home.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Day 12-16 (super overdue)

Day 12: Favorite Love Story
A Walk to Remember


One of my all-time favorite films. Nicholas Sparks (author of the book, A Walk to Remember) has a way of making a very sad ending bearable. :)

Day 13: Favorite Chick Flick
10 Things I Hate About You 


Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. What more will you ask for? <3

Day 14: Favorite Documentary
The Cove


This movie changed my life. That's how influencing this movie is. Watch it and let it make a change in yours.

Day 15: Favorite Play Adaptation
Sweeney Todd


Johnny Depp. <3 I actually wanna see the play. I wonder how bloody the stage is after every show. O_O

Day 16: Favorite Book Adaptation
Stardust


The Brits have this perfect way of adapting a book to a film. Plus, Neil Gaiman is just amazing. Nuff said!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"Your kiss, I miss. Why did you leave me?"

Max's Unlimited Chicken Promo. It speaks for itself. When my orgmate asked everyone in the org to eat at Max's, I was determined to get my money's worth (and more). I was planning on eating about 10 servings of the famous chicken. I knew about that much could fit in my stomach so I was excited. I initiated a contest on who could eat the most number of chicken and everyone agreed to join.

And so it began.

We finally arrived at Max's and we were all eager to eat our first one. I was so cocky saying to my orgmates who ordered rice, "Wala na matatalo kayo, may kanin pa kayo," and bit off a chunk of the enormous breast of the chicken on my greasy hand. I ate slower than how I'd usually eat which really surprised me. Disregarding my slow pace, I was still in the game. My strategy was not to drink any fluids so I wouldn't feel bloated right away. It worked until my third serving. I was already feeling the chickens filling my stomach. I had to drink from my glass of iced tea because my throat felt dry. That did it. I felt full right away, but I was still able to push myself to have my fourth one (para maka-boundary lang :p). After that, the sight of chicken disgusted me. Whenever the waiter arrives holding a basketful of chicken, I felt like vomiting. I wanted to test my gag reflex but it didn't work. Promises not to eat chicken ever again were made. One of my orgmates ate 7 servings of the fattest, in my opinion, chickens that ever lived (and died). Kudos to her! Respect was earned that night. My stomach felt insecure to hers and the others'. Damn stomach, you let me down!

The chicken extravaganza wasn't the only thing that made my night. I was with the people who I don't usually hang out with that often and I actually had a blast. I wasn't with the same crowd that I was hanging out with for the past years. I overlooked how awesome these people really are. There wasn't a moment when we did not laugh out loud and caught the attention of the people from the other table and the waiters. Jokes and laughters were exchanged as we were throwing bones of the chicken on a plate that already resembled a tiny mountain towards the end of the night. It was refreshing to hang out with the "kids". I guess we just always called them that because we didn't hang out with them long enough to actually see who they are as individuals and not who they are collectively. I have found out that they are not as innocent as they claim they are.

It was nice making someone realize that the more we hate, the more we love (and it's true... but me, the more I love, the more I love <3). It was nice to find out that banana ketchup, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce go together. ;p It was nice to have the feeling of satisfaction na naka-boundary ka na. It was cool to be able to laugh through your nose with ease and poise. It was amazing to find out that the record for the most serving of chicken was 14. And it was amazing that we were all able to eat 43 servings of chicken in 2 hours.

Singing "Halik" by Aegis from Quezon Circle to Philcoa was the perfect way to seal the night of the 9 undergrad students/Glee hopefuls and the 11 poor, helpless, and FAT chickens they devoured.

PS: I really miss doing crazy things like this with the-same-crowd-that-I-was-hanging-out-with-for-the-past-years. I hope to see you guys real soon. Perhaps in forever and a day?

Just Five More Months... Only Five Months...

My roommate told me that our landlady is bitching about my going home late all the time. She claims that I wake her up from her deep slumber because, (1) the gate squeaks like nails on blackboard (the gate that she refuses to put oil on so it wouldn't make such a shrieking noise) and (2) the stupid dog keeps barking whenever it sees something move (if they would only walk the damn dog and play with it more it wouldn't be that agitated). The only thing that irritated me so bad is when she said to my roommate, "She always comes home late. Is she even studying?" ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! You have no idea what I do when I'm outside (or even inside!) the fucking boarding house! Yes, I go out with my friends all the time (and I always tell you that I'm with them whenever I truly am), but I also spend sleepless nights in coffee shops and the frickin' library STUDYING and biting off the heads of people who would dare to distract me from it (which I also tell you)! I need an enormous table (because I like spreading my things so I can immediately grab anything) or a place not conducive to sleeping to be able to study effectively and efficiently. The/your boarding house does not/cannot offer me those things so I have to do something. It pisses me off when people (even my parents) ask me that stupid question (yes, stupid questions DO exist). It's very offensive to me because I have never worked my ass off like this before and I don't need people lurking behind me saying that I'm not doing anything or that I'm not doing enough. I mean, I'm no laude standing or whatsoever, but I HAVE BEEN A CONSISTENT DEAN'S LISTER SINCE FRESHMEN YEAR so shut the hell up and mind your own shit.

I don't need to prove anything to you. Your a powerful person in UP, why don't you log in to my CRS account and see for yourself the grades of a student who has friends (which you did not have I suppose... otherwise you'd get what I'm so pissed off about) and still manages to keep her grades up. It's not my problem that you don't get it because you're senile so just bug off. If you don't want any sound coming from your boarding house, rent it out to turtles or lizards not human beings.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Day 11: Favorite Kid's Movie

Day 11: Favorite Kid's Movie
Beauty and the Beast


It's between this one and Anastasia. But this is more romantic so yeah... <3

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 10: Favorite Foreign Film

Day 10: Favorite Foreign Film
Juste Une Question d' Amour


"It's not a question of gay or straight. It's just a question of love." <3

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Day 9: Favorite Musical

Day 9: Favorite Musical
Moulin Rouge


Ewan McGregor's voice is just amazing. Nuff said. All the hair on my body was awoken when he and Nicole Kidman sang The Elephant Medley. <3

Day 6-8 (overdue)

Day 6: Favorite Horror
Shutter


I actually hate horror films so there wasn't much to choose from. I feel like I don't learn anything from watching horror films so I don't really like wasting my time watching them. All they do is leave you awake at night imagining that your bed will eat you alive. This movie did just that.

Day 7: Favorite Animated Feature
Rio


There are actually a lot of animated films that I like more that this one but I just feel like this film wouldn't work if it wasn't animated well. I think other films like Despicable Me or Up would survive even if it was made in 2D because the storyline carried the film. In Rio, the storyline matched the animation very well. The storyline needed the animation and vice versa.

Day 8: Favorite Thriller
Law Abiding Citizen


I don't like this film just 'cause Gerard Butler is in it. It's actually a REALLY thrilling film. A bit morbid and scary. It's seriously worth watching.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Days 3-5 (overdue)

Day 3: Favorite Comedy
White Chicks

This film is a must-watch for us to get in touch with the hidden ghettos within us. From A Thousand Miles to Yo Mama's, you will never quit laughing while watching this movie.

Day 4: Favorite Drama
A Beautiful Mind


John Nash represent! Nuff said. If you haven't watched this film, you haven't lived.

Day 5: Favorite Action
Inception


I think the rumors and reviews about the film speak for themselves. I actually still don't understand some of the parts, but who cares. Leo de Caprio + Joseph-Gordon Levitt + the cherry on top, Ellen Page in one epic movie.......

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Day 2: Least Favorite Film

Day 2: Least Favorite Film
The Devil


Ugh. This is by far the stupidest film I have ever watched. And I've heard the director's no good. Watch so you can judge.

PS: Actually, my least favorite film is a battle between this one and The Village. But since I already answered The Village to the other 30 day challenge................

Friday, June 10, 2011

Day 1: Favorite Film

I'm doing another 30 Day FILM Challenge on Facebook. But I think this (30 Day MOVIE Challenge) is better so I gotta do this. :D

Day 1: Favorite Film
3 Idiots




Seriously, you gotta watch the movie! Do not judge the cinematography (like I did) before watching. You will laugh, cry, laugh again, cry again, cry some more, and laugh at yourself. WATCH IT!

PS: Amir Kahn is H-O-T HOT! :D He looks like Jude Law. *girl-giggles*

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Koala's March

Me: Baka kasi walang kasama 'yong friend ko mamayang 3am eh... Samahan ko nalang siya...
Dad: Sinong friend?
Me: 'Yong classmate ko sa Econ...
Dad: Sino ngang classmate? Anong pangalan?
Me: 'Di mo naman kilala...
Dad: Ano ngang pangalan?!
Me: Tricia!

A dialog between a dad and his daughter wherein the dad longs to find out if his daughter is going to hang out with a boy at 3am in the morning. It was actually kinda funny once I knew that that was what he was trying to do. I wanted to prolong the conversation as long as possible to piss him off. It kinda worked.

*on the phone*
Mom: Baby, miss na kita.
Me: Anubeyan 30minutes palang ako wala.
Mom: Haha! Nasaan na ba kayo?
Me: Papasok palang ng SLEX. (and yes, SLEX is 30 minutes away from our house)
Mom: Mag-iingat ka sa UP ah!
Me: Of course!

A phone conversation between a mom and her daughter wherein the mom desperately clings to her daughter because she thinks that her daughter may be up to no good. It's kind of surprising because she was in a bad mood the whole day. She probably just wants someone to help her with the chores at home (maid, day-off).

And now I'm alone in the boarding house with nothing to do and with only a bottled water in the fridge to consume.

And fine, yes, I miss them like hell already.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge

I just thought it'd be fun to compile all 30 songs I've listed. Listen away!

Day 1: Your Favorite Song
Buses and Trains by Bachelor Girl


Day 2: Your Least Favorite Song
Friday by Rebecca Black (O_O) or Banana by Blank Tape


Day 3: A Song that Makes You Happy
Swimming Beach by Parokya Ni Edgar


Day 4: A Song that Makes You Sad
Kandila by Sugarfree


Day 5: A Song that Reminds You of Someone
Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray


Day 6: A Song that Reminds You of Somewhere
Beer by Itchyworms


Day 7: A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol


Day 8: A Song that You Know All the Words To
Lupang Hinirang composed by Julian Felipe


Day 9: A Song that You Can Dance To
Asereje by Las Ketchup


Day 10: A Song that Makes You Fall Asleep
Clair de Lune by Debussy


Day 11: A Song from Your Favorite Band
Burnout by Sugarfree


Day 12: A Song from a Band You Hate:
Vampire Social Club by Chicosci


Day 13: A song that Is a Guilty Pleasure:
Instant Pleasure by Rufus Wainwright


Day 14: A Song that No One Would Expect You to Love
Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and Kirsty McColl


Day 15: A Song That Describes You
People Are People by D' Sound


Day 16: A Song That You Used to Love but Now Hate
Low by Flo Rida or Foolish Heart by Nina


Day 17: A Song That You Hear Often on the Radio
N/A

Day 18: A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio
Bubble Toes by Jack Johnson


Day 19: A Song from Your Favorite Album
Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader (from the A Walk to Remember OST)


Day 20: A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry
Sexy Chick by David Guetta featuring Akon

Day 21: A Song that You Listen to When You're Happy
The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson


Day 22: A Song that You Listen to When You're Sad
'Wag Ka nang Umiyak by Sugarfree


Day 23: A Song that You Want to Play at Your Wedding
At Last by Etta James (I want a guy to sing it though. Dibs!)


Day 24: A Song that You Want to Play at Your Funeral
Imagine by The Beatles (I want Glee's version of this)


Day 25: A Song that Makes You Laugh
Rude Boy by Rihanna


Day 26: A Song That You Can Play on an Instrument
Song for You by Session Road


Day 27: A Song That You Wish You Could Play
River Flows in You by Yiruma


Day 28: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
我是真的真的很愛你 by 言承旭 (Jerry Yan)


Day 29: A Song from Your Childhood
On My Own by Lea Salonga


Day 30: Your Favorite Song at This Time Last Year
Airplanes by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

One Tear, Left Eye


I have waited for you for so long! Today is the ultimate GV day. GV day that consists of a facial, foot spa, mani-pedi, shopping for a new pair of shoes, AND THIS! :D

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Just Another Take on the Bill

My family and I went to Tagaytay last April. We accompanied my mom's highschool classmates because one of them was going back to Australia for good. My mom's classmates were cool. They kept reminiscing about "the days" and I enjoyed listening to them. I liked that they were obliged not to order shakes with straws in them because of me. I'm glad they found out that they could stir the shakes with their spoons.

So we toured around Highlands and was happy (at least I was) that it was deserted. It was a Tuesday so the place was empty. We were taking pictures of ourselves and breathing in the view when my sister called me.  "Tingnan mo 'yong mga ibon oh," she said. I looked at a cage full of lovebirds. I was always a fan of colors so I stared at the cage with my mouth wide open.


Two particular lovebirds got my attention. They were chasing each other from branch to branch. The girl (how I found out it's a girl you will see later) was letting the guy chase her as if saying, "Habulin mo 'ko," with this I'm-ready-for-you tone of voice. They did that for about 3 minutes and again I was staring at them with my mouth open.


Suddenly, they started kissing, chase each other again, and kiss again. It became a kiss-chase-kiss madness in the cage. At one point, one of the birds joined them, but the guy wouldn't let anyone touch his girl. They were doing their thing and no one could ruin or interrupt what they were gonna do next.


After a good 5 minutes of all the chasing and kissing, they finally did what they were thinking of doing even from the beginning. They were going at it like there was no tomorrow. I actually thought the girl was going to die. I covered my sister's eyes because I wouldn't know what to tell her if she asked what they were doing.


It was time to leave when I saw the cage as a whole. Every bird in that cage were going at it. If you have watched the film "Shortbus", it looked a lot like that scene in the bus but prettier, more colorful, and no flesh was showing.


If the birds don't control their "hobby", they would fill the cage with little lovebirds that will eventually go at it and bear more and more birds not considering all the externalities. If the cage is big enough (and almost always it's not) then the only problems would be the safety of the birds and the resources in the cage. Are they healthy enough to keep doing what they're doing? Are they passing diseases while doing what they're doing? How are they gonna provide for themselves and their young? Where are they going to get the resources if they start to run out?

These questions probably never crossed their minds. They are merely paltry little birds. This is why they need someone to educate them what to do and how to do them. They need help and they need it soon.

And yes, this is just another take on that bill that everyone's talking about. I have read the bill and I have to admit that I don't really this bill that much. I don't need to know all about these contraceptives, ligation, vasectomy, etc. because I already know all about them and I'm informed. Even if I happen to not know some of the things it's talking about, I have access to information. This bill is for the people who do not have access to ANY of these information. They are all willing to learn, but no one is helping them. And the time has come for them to learn and be informed. If they keep this pace up, we would have more maternal deaths, abortion counts, and we might become poorer and poorer (yes, the economy is affected and I'll explain in a bit).

Personally, I don't like the idea of ligation and vasectomy unless it's endangering the life of the patient. I don't like having to destroy something that is working perfectly well. [Also, I'm extremely against abortion (which is not included in the bill and is still illegal here in the Philippines, just FYI).] BUT, I am not going to judge someone who has done it or is thinking of doing it. It is that person's choice and I am in no position to tell him/her what's right or wrong. I can only give that person information and it is up to him/her to choose whatever he/she wants to do. At the end of the day, the bill is just offering us a choice. Just a choice. And it's always nice to be offered some.

The bill will not force the people to get a vasectomy or a ligation or even to drink the oral contraceptives. The bill is just going to provide us with information about all these fancy words so we can make intelligent decisions and be educated before we make our "move". Along with the information they will provide, appropriate resources will also be given to be able to plan our families and control the population as a whole. All the bill is offering us is accessibility to all of these. And who wouldn't want that?

I've said earlier that without this bill we might become poorer than we already are and this is why. In truth, there are no inverse or even direct relationship between population and the economy. BUT, there is however, an inverse relationship between poverty and the economy. In the Philippines, there are more poor people than there are rich or average. The rich people can multiply how many they want and it wouldn't be that much of a problem because they can afford their standard of living and eventually, affect the economy positively. BUT, when the poor people start multiplying without knowing if they will produce various externalities, that's when the problem begins. The population is largely clustered in the lower class so if the government provides jobs which require dimplomas, only the upper class or the others who could provide to go to college would benefit. As a result, people tend to depend on investing on tricycles, jeepneys, or sari-sari stores which are very poor investments. Some people would go to other countries to find yet another dead-end job just so their family would get by. Some officials actually prefer this because these OFW's give us millions of remittances every year. Why the hell would we want our citizens to leave our country and be away from their family? You say population is no big deal but when it's getting crowded you let them throw themselves away from our country. It sucks that we are happy when our currency depreciates. We prefer the high exchange rate because we earn more dollars than pesos. It seems like there are no jobs here in the Philippines because a lot of people are not qualified to work. The truth is there are available jobs in the Philippines (Check the classified ads in the newspaper. There wouldn't be a portion alotted to finding jobs if there weren't any.) You just need that piece of paper called a diploma to be able to participate in the working class.

I have nothing against the people who are not in favor of the bill. I actually get some of their points. But their way is obviously not working because we still have the same problems. We are still poor. The bill is just presenting a new solution to the problem, and I hope everyone could get on board. Why don't we just try it and see what happens?

Again, the bill is going to offer us choices and resources to plan our future. It will give us access to information that we might not know we need. This may be a drastic change and it is undoubtedly hard to swallow and digest, but once that we get on the same page, we'll be able to digest it just fine. Time is running out and we have to take action now. Those poor little birds must learn that they are NOT poor little birds to begin with. They are actually free to fly and see what's waiting for them outside that cage.

from http://facethefactspasstherhbill.tumblr.com