Instant Happiness is Instant

I've probably already posted hundreds of video chat grabs on my Facebook. And here's another one. I just really wanna remember moments like this when I needed someone to cheer me up so bad and this k-razyy bunch of weirdos happen to do just that via video chat. (Distance is a bitch. And in this case, also the epic the weather. O__O) I wanna document moments when it only took ONE text message containing only TWO syllables to make me feel a BILLION times happier.

I will forever be grateful for having this k-razyy bunch of weirdos in my life. :)

And just like that, maybe I won't need to call that hotline.

Bipolarity, Randomness, Sleepiness

TAKE ONE:
[I used to think I had nothing to say. That I could handle everything on my own. But I actually wanna scream. I wanna burst out in tears. I actually wanna talk. And now that I have something to say, I find myself talking to a wall. I've been talking to a wall all this time.]

TAKE TWO:
[I've been on this Merry-Go-Round (which by the way is my favorite ride in amusement parks) for so long now. I'm already very dizzy. I wanna get off so bad, but I wanna get my money's worth. But is it really worth it when I already feel like vomiting?]

TAKE THREE:
[I'm not gonna fall for that bait you're dangling. I'm gonna keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Swimming, swimming.]

TAKE FOUR:
[It's funny when a dog chases its tail. It'll try to catch its tail around and around and around until it can't anymore. I like it when it stops and gives up. That implies that the dog learned it's impossible to chase your tail. I don't like it when it does the chasing over again.]

TAKE FIVE:
["CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" I hear a soft reply. Then I say even louder, "IS ANYBODY THERE?!" I can't quite make out the reply. I decide to listen very carefully as I screamed for the last time, "HELLO??!" I hear a faint, "Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello." Just an echo. No one's here.]

TAKE SIX:
[Jelly melly felly kelly celly nelly delly pelly. I wanna turn into jelly.]

(This is what I get for listening to Jason Mraz in the shower.)

I miss your THE touch. I miss THE hugs and kisses... I miss THE affection.

I don't know if it's just a sign of ageing or something, but I'm now feeling the need to have a "certain someone". The need for someone to hold me whenever it's frickin' cold at night and tell me that the storm will eventually stop. The need for someone who I can cuddle with and hold my hand all thru the night. The need for someone...

These feelings are at their worst every night. (I don't really notice them in the morning.)

I sometimes fantasize about you. (Not the ew-kinky kind of fantasizing.) I fantasize you lying down next to me. Talking to me. Holding me. Listening to me. Laughing with/at me. And then we eventually fall asleep together...

I fantasize that you're here, beside me. Not in another continent.

It's insanely crazy that I'm still hanging on to you. I can't even remember how you look like anymore. We barely even had time alone together. I don't know why I hang on to you still. Maybe it's 'cause you were the last one. Or the one after the last one. The very last one who made sense.

I wish I could go there. I wish you could come here.

Then again, you probably don't even remember me.


Love is blinding when your timing's never right
Oh but who am I to beg for difference
Finding love in a distant instant
But I don't mind


Oh love at least I tried, well I tried...