Tuesday, July 2, 2013

[untitled]

It's one of those moments when a shitload of jelly comes out of my mouth instead of comforting words to make that person feel even just a tiny bit better. My brain shuts down for some reason and I mumble.

I'm sorry I don't know what to say. I'm sorry all you heard from that phone call was "fuck". [I'm sorry I curse a lot.] I hope I can take all the pain away. [Stupid cliche.] I can only imagine what you're going through right now. I wanna give you a hug so bad and it's not even because you need it. [Ugh, distance is such a bitch. I hope someone gives you tight one where you are right this second.] I just cannot think of anything else to do to be useful to you. I wanna be useful. What can I do?

It's also one of those moments when I like playing the hero. (a.k.a. when I make everything about me not about you; a.k.a. me being a selfish fucker) When I want to save everyone from sorrow. If I could turn all the pain into marshmallows I would. Just give all the shit to me so you won't have to put up with it. Put it in a jar and I'll steal it like that jar of cookies. Flaunt it in fucking Baclaran and I'll snatch it from you! Just give me the pain and I'll deal with it.

Obviously this is all bullshit because you can't do any of these. [Ugh, jelly.] I just pray to God to give you strength to deal with all this. I'm so sorry this happened. If it happened to me, I probably wouldn't even take your call. Anyone's call. [Thanks for taking mine. Thanks for not shutting me out.]

You will be okay. You will find out how to cope and you will do your best to do it because we will make you. Accept all the hands that will be given to you. Please don't shut us out.

For now, just be strong.