The Dancer's Turn

The spotlight.

It was on her.

Finally, it was her turn.

She has been waiting and waiting.

For the spotlight to be on her.

She stood in the middle.

The light immediately found her.

She’s stunning. Beautiful.

Exquisite.

She walks gracefully.

She closes her eyes.

To savour the spotlight.

That was finally on her.

She danced and danced.

And the spotlight followed.

All around the stage.

All around, the light followed.

She finished her dance.

With a twirl in the middle.

She stopped. She waits.

Waits for the applause.

From the audience she waited.

In the middle.

Spotlight on her, she waited.

Silence.

The beating of her heart.

Her deep breaths.

Were all she could hear.

And louder and louder.

They vanished the silence.

She couldn’t see far.

The light blinded her.

The spotlight finally dimmed.

And slowly she caught sight.

She caught a glimpse of the audience.

No one was there.

No one was watching.

Emptiness.

Her elegant performance.

No one saw.

The spotlight.

The spotlight deceived her.

The middle of the stage.

All around, it deceived her.

The light, slowly dimming.

Gradually, it left the stage.

Before it disappeared,

She took a bow.

She took a bow and left with the light.

Darkness.

Closure

My gradeschool teacher taught me that there are 2 ways a star can die. [From what I remember], a star can turn into a blackhole or it can explode and be a hmmm some kind of dwarf.

I remembered getting scared because I knew (from the previous semester) that the sun is a star. If it died, it could suck all the 9 planets around it or it could explode and kill us all. When I told my teacher all my fears, he laughed at me and said that it won't happen for a million years. That didn't comfort at all.

Just recently, a particular star had died. It was very unique because it started being a blackhole for a while but then towards the end, it finally exploded.

Blackhole phase: Everything the star touched, it sucked towards its unending revolution. Everything the star sucked stayed around it until it was satisfied. The star felt guilty that it was drawing everything towards it involuntarily. It felt like the star had no choice but to feed off of everything around it. It fed off of everyone’s life, light, and happiness. I guess this was the star’s way of surviving death because a blackhole, you see, is not really a dead star. It’s dying. And no one knows when the blackhole will stop pulling everything towards it or if it ever will.

Explosion phase: Then something happened that made the star stop imbibing everything that had life. It finally got satisfied and exploded. It exploded hard and loud. It was strange because the star that was supposed to be dying, never felt more alive as it was exploding. Another unexpected thing that happened was the explosion did not hurt anything around it because there was no one, nothing. The star had already sucked everything. There was nothing to lose. The star, finally contented, had died.

Death phase: After the big explosion, everything was quiet. The star did not have the energy to shine and twinkle as before. It did not have life. At long last, the star’s life has ended.

Somehow, this made me sad. It made me sad because it was the end. It sucked and obliterated everything around it and in the end, it died. Finished. Now the star that once shone and twinkled for everyone is just a Thing in space. It has no contribution whatsoever to anyone or anything. A Thing that cannot do anything. A Thing that only 2 people on Earth will recognize as Something that was once amazing. Once was beautiful. But now dead.

Morning Rituals and Keeping Up with the Awesomeness

Alarm goes off at 4 in the morning. I hit snooze. I hit snooze 348756 times until it's 5:20am. I stand up. Finally.

I go to the bathroom. I bring my iPad and phone. I check my messages. I read. I think. I make most of my life's decisions in my bathroom. I finally take a bath. All this takes about 45 minutes to an hour.

I dress up. Oh, the dressing up. I seem to always love matching pink and green, green and brown, and blue and green. I either end up looking like a watermerlon or Mother Earth. I comb my hair and hastily grab all my stuff since I'm probably already running late because I couldn't decide which fruit I will dress up as that day. One quick glance around my room checking if I've forgotten anything, then I'm off.

I go to my parents' room to say goodbye. They're all still sleeping so I just sneak in to kiss my parents goodbye. My sister's stuck in the middle of my parents with her mouth wide open so I leave her alone.

I go down and eat breakfast. 10 minutes tops, then I'm off to my daily commute.

Tricycle. As the wind blows on my face, I put day cream on it. Sun block because... climate change.

Shuttle/FX. Oh the FX and its infinitely limited space. Once I reach the place where I take a jeep to the MRT, I check if my legs are still connected to my body. If they are, I continue.

Jeep. EMERTEE EMERTEE EMERTEE EMERTEE EMERTEE.

MRT. The stairs. The stairs are my morning enemy. Even if I DETEST how the MRT is being run by whoever, I actually love this part of my morning. Once I'm in the train, I put my earphones on, press Shuffle in my iPod, and finally I'm in a bubble for 30 minutes.

Bubble time. Oh, how I maximize those 30 minutes I have "all to myself." I put my earphones on and suddenly I'm bestfriends with Beyonce, Hayley Williams, Adele, Ingrid Michaelson, Armi Millare, Sara Bareilles and Regina Spektor. I suddenly have a concert and the #HumansofEDSA are my audience. Even The Script, Jason Mraz, Coldplay, The Smiths, Ed Sheeran, and Two Door Cinema Club attend my concert. It's AWESOME. Everyday, they attend. Everyday, IT'S AWESOME.

Today was different. Today, my earphones broke. My earphones broke and I didn't have my Bubble Time. My Bubble Time that I always look forward to every weekday morning. My 30 minutes "all to myself." No Beyonce...

Have you put Mentos in a newly opened Coca-Cola bottle? Have you watched an eruption of any volcano? Have you ever blacked out in a plane due to intense anxiety/anger because a baby is crying on top of his/her lungs? Or have you blacked out in general? All these happened to me at the same time in 3 seconds.

But after that, my perky/always positive thinking/taking control/won't-let-anything-ruin-my-day/I-can-always-turn-shit-around self kicked in. And I sang. Not out loud. Not out loud, but with conviction. I damn well sang my Beyonce and bobbed my head along with the bobbing of the train. I sang. I sang my frickin' heart out.

I sang my frickin' heart out because sometimes, when life breaks your earphones, you just gotta close your eyes, own the stage, and sing acapella to the #HumansofEDSA.

After all, they came all the way from wherever, sweating under the heat of the sun just to see you.

To-do list:
- Make life buy you new earphones!