5 Firsts on My Fifth

Two weeks ago, we journeyed to the Land of the Rising Sun. It was my fifth time to Japan and there was still a lot of room for firsts.

My mom studied in Japan for 2 years almost right after giving birth to me. She loved it there so much even if she had to hustle away from her awesome newborn. :) When she came back, she promised to bring me there one day and spoil the crap out of me to make up for her time away from me. That she did (even if she didn't have to, honestly).

She's awesome.

We usually go the touristy places over there:

1. Disneyland and Disneysea (Do not skip Tokyo Disneyland. I repeat, DO NOT SKIP TOKYO DISNEYLAND! It's Disneyland only or Disneyland and Disneysea - 2 days!)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

        

2. Asakusa (ala Mercato or Night Market)
   
   
   

   

        

3. Akihabara (FAVORITE PLACE IN JAPAN EVARR because #ShoppingForAwesomelyWeirdJapanElectronics)

   

        

4. Tokyo tour (Shinjuku, Shibuya, Ginza) for more shopping and eating
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

        
5. Just about everywhere with FOOD!!!
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

This year, we added a few firsts and here they are:

1.  Maid Cafe in Akihabara

Mom usually likes to shop for watches and bags in Laox. It's a 7-floor shopping building and right across I saw a Maid Cafe. I dragged my parents to try and have lunch there instead of going to our favorite place, Denny's.

We couldn't take pictures inside, but...

 

Honest opinion: It was... ok. 

I probably should have done a bit of research on the prices because once you enter, they will tell you that there's an entrance fee of ¥500 each (about PhP220). And that's only for an hour. You have to pay again when you exceed. Food was limited and expensive and when you wanna take photos with the maids, they will charge another ¥500. 

There were dance and game shows inside which was fun to watch. But we were hungry so we really couldn't enjoy them. The maids were cute though. 

Mom got pissed off because it was taking a long time for them to serve the food. #HANGRY (I think they did that so we would extend our stay and pay the extra ¥500. But it's Japan, the Land of the Honest People, so I don't know.) Once they were served though, it was worth it (a bit)...

The barbecue-sauce cat is drawn on the plate once they serve it on your table. Kawaii deshou?

Overall, I enjoyed our 1 hour in the Maid Cafe. I don't think my parents can say the same thing though since dancing Japanese maids may not be their thing. I suggest stopping over there AFTER lunch. Have some dessert and coffee, then yell out "nyan nyan" (their version of "meow meow") to get the attention of the maids if you want something (seriously, we had to do that).

2.  Space [f*ckin'] Mountain

Nuff said.

3. Mt. Fuji

It was so breathtaking. From the car, it looked like a painting on the sky...  

My mom told me that the Japanese really think highly and respect Mt. Fuji that sometimes they call it Fuji-san. They treat the mountain as a living person.

Another thing that made this trip to Mt. Fuji awesome was the snow at the Fourth Step/Station.

First time to experience snow!!! *sings Let It Go*

4.  Sakura EVERYWHERE

Ohh, we were really blessed that we came just in time for Sakura season (spring). Sakuras were everywhere and JUST starting to fall. It was amazing.

I was surprised to see the Japanese also taking pictures and truly enjoying the weather just like all the gaijins (foreigners) around. I asked my mom why that is. I assumed they were used to seeing this beautiful thing every year so why were they celebrating. My mom's Japanese friend told us how the Japanese perceive the Sakura season and the story is hauntingly beautiful.

She said the Japanese long to see the Sakuras bloom because it means that the dreadful winter is over. For 5 months, the weather becomes excruciatingly cold and when they see Sakuras, it is finally the end of their suffering.

Sakuras also symbolize how the Japanese perceive life. The Sakuras bloom and they are celebrated. It's calming and exquisite. But after a couple of weeks, once the Sakuras know they have already exhausted their delicate beauty, they slowly let go of the stems and leave the trees empty and lifeless. My mom's Japanese friend said, "It's like they're committing suicide." Harakiri, she said.

She said that the Japanese are hardworkers. Work is their life. Without work or anything to be proud of, life is meaningless to them. When this happens or when they're too weak to do anything anymore, it is acceptable, even preferable, to end their own life. Because for them, being useless and a burden to someone is not an option.

I never thought a flower can be perceived as a celebration of life and death. (Uhh, this is why I love Haruki Murakami.)

5.  [Legit] Sushi and Kimono Tour at Shizuoka

We went to the my mom's friend's house which is in the province. We had to take a bullet train (Shinkansen) to get there. Her house was enormous and peaceful.

She showed us around and fed us with legit sushi in a legit sushi house. Just reminscing about it now is making my mouth water...

It was prepared right in front of us so we could see how fresh all the ingredients were. My mom's friend taught us how to properly dip sushi in soy sauce. You should dip the fish not the rice so you flip it to the the fish side, dip, then slide towards you.

There was lobster, scallop, eel, sea urchin,etc.! I wasn't a fan of the sea urchin because it was slimy, but the others, I had no problem devouring. The plate may look like you won't be able to finish it in one sitting, but trust me... you can do all things in the name of sushi.

One more thing that my mom's friend made us do is to walk around a "village" wearing kimonos.

It was such a cool experience because you get to choose which colors you want and the fancier the better. They said a woman wearing a kimono should not open her legs or walk fast. Maybe that's why the slippers/sandals were so uncomfortable and the kimonos are so tight. My mom's friend told me to walk in small steps. I didn't have a choice but to do just that since kimonos are wound to your body multiple times, limiting your movements.

It was such a nice experience though because somehow, we were able to immerse ourselves to the amazingly rich tradition and culture of the Japanese. I hope the Japanese people preserve them forever.

5.1.  Onsen (Hot Spring)

When we were at my mom's friend's province, we stayed at a hotel with an Onsen. It wasn't really my first time going to an Onsen, but it was my first to go at night and have the place to ourselves.

This is an example of Japan's public bath area. People go in naked, shower, dip their naked selves in the 40℃ volcanic water, meditate a bit and let all their anxieties melt together with their dead skins. Uhh, I loved it. Right after we bathed in the Onsen, we had a foot massage, and slept like babies. That's. How. It's. Done. Goodnight.

We had such an awesome time during our trip. Mom promised that next time, we may finally go to Kyoto and see them temples! I can't wait for my next firsts in the Land of the Rising Sun!

Not so Quarter-Life Crisis

Lately, I've been having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I've been keeping it on the DL though because I don't really have the luxury of time to actually ponder on these two things that bother me.

First, the ever-pressuring topic of Le Career. See, I graduated last October 2011. That's three years ago. Three LONG years ago. When our dean was handing me that diploma that I worked my ass off for, I believed that I would be someone somewhere I would be successful in in the future. Yes, my dreams were that vague. Maybe that's why the universe got confused and wouldn't prioritize me until I actually knew exactly what I wanted. Fast forward three years from that moment when it was honestly my first time meeting our dean, I still don't know what I want. Good thing I realized that there is no pressure in knowing what you want out of life.

Some people are lucky that since birth, their parents have inception-ed them to be whatever it is that they want to be. They had direction. And there are those people who had something amazing/traumatic happen in their lives that shaped what they wanted when they grew up. But me, everything was smooth sailing until I graduated from school. Suddenly, I was thrown into the ocean with the ability to float, but not the ability to swim. But I'm happy that through God's guidance I have learned how to swim even if I still don't know where I'm going. I'm gonna keep getting good at swimming so that when I find my path, I'm gonna swim the hell towards it. And I bet you that I will be the universe's priority then.

Second quarter-life crisis issue is having someone to share all these unknowns with. Having someone to give my love to. Who actually deserves it. I got this huge ball of feelings that are spilling out of me which I'm rapidly giving to just about whoever seems to want them. And I have come to know that this is just wrong.

I have learned that in order for you to love someone, to truly love someone, you must have self-worth. Self-worth is like being awake from all the naiveness that love may bring. Self-worth is being conscious. Hence, love in its truest form must be the synchronization of both your heart and mind. Raw love is the devil. We tend to worship it and the grand gestures/martyrdom it comes with. We fall in love with the idea of being in love. But being in love, I have learned, is for those people who are whole, not seeking for completeness, who have self-worth, and who can be with anyone anywhere in the world, but they choose to stay with each other. Maybe that's why it's called being IN love because you're either in it or you're out. It's your choice.

But who knows? In every phase of someone's life, love's definition may change. For now, this definition is what I can accept.

I think self-worth is directly proportional to time. In time, life will be able to introduce you to yourself then that's the only moment when you'll be able to truly love someone. When you can have someone that will spend his/her life with you with content and comfort. When you can both be journeying together conquering the world.

Then again, let's stop defining love and just do it. Make it.

Because your love, your love, your love is my drug

I FINALLY had human (other than my family of course) contact today. It was such a relief when one of my bestfriends texted me to hangout. It's always exciting when we hang out together because we have "jonders talks". Haha! "Jonders talks" = mature talks about life, love, friends, and everything else. It's when we overcome our A.D.D.'s and all other mental disorders/deficiencies (an exaggeration OF COURSE) to analyze our surroundings. It sounds oh, so formal, but it SO is not. So when she texted me about the hangout, we immediately set the date and had it.

I found out just when I was on my way that my other bestfriend was also coming. That got me even more excited because the three of us rarely hang out. We could LITERALLY talk the whole day (I cannot emphasize the "LITERALLY" enough because we seriously already did.) about just one thing or just one memory. I bet we could have "jonders talks" for weeks.

So that's what we did (kinda). We hung out at a coffee shop and just talked about random stuff. Random memories. That made me subconsciously ignore my depressing self. Yep, I've been depressed for a while, and it's kinda nice to just stop and hear hilarious stories and fucked up ones. Also, I figured out that I wasn't only depressed, I was also lonely. I thought I would NEVER feel that. I'm a big preacher of "it doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone". I was always comfortable at being alone. I never knew how this felt. I guess you only feel it once you actually interact with people because then you'll notice the difference. The difference from having your bestfriends around to staying in your room reading an awesome book or watching movies (which I both LOVE to do alone). The difference between hanging out with my bestfriends and hanging out with my bedroom furnitures.

Then we went to the house of my bestfriend. The "jonders talks" got even deeper. I loved how they understood EXACTLY how I felt and knew EXACTLY what to say. I loved how they were also going through what's been fucking me up recently. We talked about the "curse", the pressure, the expectations, etc. And when you see your bestfriend cry, you shut up and just hug. Just hug to let her know that you're ALWAYS going to be there for her. That we're always going to be there for each other.

I cannot emphasize enough how I want this friendship between the three of us to last forever. I'm actually in the verge of tears right now because I really feel strongly about this. I'm always the peson who's very independent and who usually does not need anyone to live. But I've realized throughout our friendship that I actually need them. And that scares me a bit. It scares me that I might need them more than they need me. That I might love them more than they love me.

Only hangouts with them can make us forget that the world is actually spinning. Time stops for a while when we're together. We're completely indifferent with the things going on around us. Only all of us together can make us forget that the world is actually out there. That there will be a tomorrow. That we have to face reality again after tonight.


That the frickin' planet Venus just passed by across the sun a while ago.

One Tear, Left Eye

I have waited for you for so long! Today is the ultimate GV day. GV day that consists of a facial, foot spa, mani-pedi, shopping for a new pair of shoes, AND THIS! :D

Last Straw: You Just Sat on the Camel

I received a text message from a friend this morning. The message didn't quite sink in to me because I just woke up and my head was still a bit woozy (I slept at 4am in the morning. Bum life rocks!). It sunk in to me when I was in the bathroom. All my blood immediately went to my head and it felt like it was going to explode. I needed to stay in the shower a bit longer.

Saying that you don't care about someone's opinion of you is EXACTLY the same as saying you don't care about the person. The person and his/her opinion ARE NOT mutually exclusive so you can NEVER separate them from one another. This implies then that all those times that we spent with each other were just pretend. Plastic-an lang pala ang lahat.

I had this close friend before. We had an enormous misunderstanding on something that was very petty (from my point of view, anyway). That petty thing caused us our friendship. At first, I was annoyed because it seemed easy for him not to be friends with me anymore. I tried reaching out to him, but it felt like I just kept banging my head on the wall over and over again. I felt bad that I gave up. Eventually, I felt bad that I didn't care about him anymore. My head was hurting already so I had to stop the banging. I have missed this friend since then. I miss him hanging out in my house. I miss all the drama he piled up on me. I miss his company. I miss his advices. I miss his concern. I miss his presence. Recently, I have been having the same feelings with this [ex-] friend who apparently didn't care about us all along.

[Hindi ko alam kung masasaktan ako o magagalit sa sinabi mo. Masakit na sinabi mong wala kang pakialam sa tingin namin sa 'yo. Ibig  sabihin no'n wala kang pake sa 'min. So ano pala ung mga pinaggagagawa natin dati? Plastikan lang pala un? And parang hindi mo pa rin gets ung mga ginawa mong mali. Sige, bulag-bulagan (tanga-tangahan) nalang. Sinabi ko sa bestfriend ko (na friend mo pa rin hanggang ngayon) nung isang araw na namimiss kita. Sinabi ko na kahit na ganun ung pinaggagagawa mo, namimiss ko pa rin ung dati. Ngayong summer, nagbasa ako ng old messages sa phone. Nakita ko ung mga text mo. Mas lalo pa kitang na-miss. Tapos biglang narinig ko 'to. This was the last straw. Ayoko nang bigyan ka ng importansya. Nagalit ako at nasaktan ako. Alam mo naman kung paano ko tintreasure ang mga kaibigan ko tapos biglang ganito. Alam mo naman ung mga nangyaring paga-unfriend dati diba? Hindi ko pa close un ah at nasaktan na 'kong malupet. Sa 'yo pa kaya. Pero ngayon, masyado mo na kaming tinutulak palayo kaya wala na 'kong mapaglalaanang importansya pa para sa 'yo. Hindi ko maiiwasan ang pag-miss sa mga pilit kong kinakalimutang mga kaibigan. Pero sa sinabi mong 'to mukhang magiging posible atang magawa ko 'yon.]

The Thieves That Love to Steal

It's been a week and a half since the start of summer vacation. Since then, there's been a ginormous body print of myself on my bed. One that may probably be permanent. I came up with this wake-up-breakfast-sleep-lunch-sleep-TV-internet-dinner-watch-movies-slash-play-PC-games-midnight-snack-sleep(@around4am) Routine which i followed for 5 straight days. My body blew up like a balloon with Tungsten Hexafluoride gas (at room temperature). I didn't notice it because I was busy telling myself, "This is the life!"

The last time I saw my friends was the weekend before I started The Routine. I was preparing myself to miss them real bad. My clingy-ness and I are mortal enemies. I almost always can't stand being away from friends. Whenever we say goodbye to each other, I feel like they're taking something valuable from me that I always look forward to getting back. Before undergoing The Routine, I promised myself that I was going to hide that valuable thing where they cannot see and take it. It was the perfect plan because I was going to be away from my friends for a long time since summer's arrived. (I don't usually take summer classes because I believe that summer VACATION is made to be had. But that argument is not for here.)

During the first week until yesterday, I was proud of myself because I wasn't missing them that much. I hid it well, I thought. I wasn't texting anyone, "haymissyou" or the plain and sincere, "I miss you." I wasn't posting to anyone's Facebook wall as usual. I was detached to the world and was VERY proud of it. But then today came. I had to go to school because I was gonna get a new ID (my current ID has lost its purpose of being able to identify me), ask the Econ admin about my priority status next semester (breathes deeply), and attend an org meeting. I found myself not looking forward to doing and finish doing all those things. I was looking forward to going to our tambayan and seeing my friends. When I finally met up with them, I couldn't shut myself up, and at the same time, I didn't wanna shut them up. I wanted to talk and hang out with them until it is physically impossible for us to stand each other. Our org meeting lasted for almost 2 hours because I couldn't stop myself from reacting to every little thing that my friends said (sorry about that by the way). When it was time to say goodbye, I only hugged the person that I may not be able to see for a long time. I didn't feel the need to hug the others because I will see them again real soon. When I was in the car, I realized that I had missed them all along. I was just stopping myself from smothering them with cheesiness because I figured that a person who shows his/her emotions often can become a target to people who are more than ready to hurt him/her. Being so attached to people melts down your shield and makes you vulnerable to anything. Being too attached is like having AIDS. It attacks your immune system and messes it up real bad so a little bump or scratch can be real fatal to the person.


The Routine was the best distraction. That valuable thing that I thought I hid oh so well was actually with them all this time. And now I got it back again. From now on, I will hide that valuable thing where NO ONE can find it. I will set up traps and mazes, check up on it everyday to make sure that it won't be stolen again, and hope that I can actually keep this up. I will bury it real deep so people can have a hard time digging it up. I must keep my friends as far away from it as possible. Those scheming little thieves!