Instant Happiness is Instant

I've probably already posted hundreds of video chat grabs on my Facebook. And here's another one. I just really wanna remember moments like this when I needed someone to cheer me up so bad and this k-razyy bunch of weirdos happen to do just that via video chat. (Distance is a bitch. And in this case, also the epic the weather. O__O) I wanna document moments when it only took ONE text message containing only TWO syllables to make me feel a BILLION times happier.

I will forever be grateful for having this k-razyy bunch of weirdos in my life. :)

And just like that, maybe I won't need to call that hotline.

Just Passing By

This is my university campus. Yep, it's awesome. I have graduated from it a few months ago. During these few months, I would go back here to meet up with friends and fix my clearance and shit. I would always feel that I still belonged here. That I still wanted to stay. Today, I fixed everything that I needed to fix. And most of my friends are going to graduate this year. I would have no reason (except for special occasions, of course) to go back here.

While I was walking from my college to our organization tambayan, I looked around to find people that I knew. There were none. Even though our campus is GINORMOUS, you would always see someone familiar. I didn't see anyone today.

I realized that though I love this campus so much. I didn't belong to it anymore. I felt like a visitor. I didn't see it as a bad thing though. It made me realize that I have to move on to the next place that I will belong to. Though there is a part of me that is forever going to be in this campus, the parts that are left need to move on.

I'm very happy to have belonged in this place. And I'm also very excited to find out which place I will belong to next. :)

[Can't wait to see the sunflowers this April! ;p]

Decisions (big ones) and Moments with Friends (little ones)

Last October, I found out I was gonna be an Octoberian. After the Econ 122 (HARDCORE financial economics course) scare, I actually thought I was gonna be an April 2012 baby. But I managed to maintain my Economics Weighted Average (EWA) so here I am. Though I don't have any proof yet that I already graduated (no diploma or TOR yet because of the damn slow-ass admin), I can give you my grades in all the 137++ units I took.

Finding out I was actually done with college was a blast at first. I was glad that all that hardwork actually paid off. All those here-comes-the-suns, pimples, readings, caffeine in my blood, scolds from my landlady, etc. It was done. That was it. But then when it was beginning to sink in, I started getting scared. I didn't think I was ready to face the world outside of school (I don't like calling it "real world" because wherever you are, that is your real world). College was my comfort zone. If I could get paid to be a perpetual student, I'd SO be! But reality slapped me in the face and reminded me that I belong in a Filipino family that expects its children to eventually provide for their parents and siblings once they start working. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with that (a little). Heck, I wanna spoil my parents to death! And that's exactly why I got scared in the first place; because I was being pushed to execute everything that I have planned my entire school life. I'm now expected to make the right decisions because the decisions I make from now on are the ones that will matter. The ones that will help me execute those very ambiguous plans.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. Before, I could make them in a snap. Green or Blue? Green! (:p) Heels or flats? Flats! Jeans or leggings? Jeggings! Harry Potter or Twilight? You're stupid! There were moments when it was a little more complicated. Cellphone or laptop? hmm... Sleep or coffee right before an exam? hmm... To do thesis or drink with an old friend? hmmmm... (:p) Now, there is a whole new level of mutant complication in making decisions. To take a break first and just chill for a while or look for a job right away? To take that job that pays WAY less than your expected salary because you're after the experience or screw experience and bring me the moolahs?! Everything is moving too fast. The world is not even waiting for me to make my decisions. Maybe I'm the one who's moving too slow. If that's the case, then I MUST pick up the pace. It's very comforting to know that my parents are there to guide me with these decisions. I feel like I'm walking on a string blindfolded, and I'm glad my parents are there screaming which direction I should go to.

I must make big decisions from now on because whatever I come up with right now WILL matter in the long run. I must make do with that damn string and slowly lift that blindfold over my head until I can clearly see what's up ahead.

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On another note... I had my gradwar (:p) celebration last weekend. Of course there were booze (lots and lots of them), food (also lots and lots of them), and friends (just a few of them). [♪♫ These are a few of my favorite things. ♫♪] I wanted to spend a night with my close friends maybe for the last time (not an emo statement... just facing reality...). I wanted to do things that we always did before. Eat, drink, get drunk, laugh, make fun of others, make fun of each other, eat, drink, get drunk. I never really liked hosting an event or "party" but for these people, I would do a lot more. These people tolerated my corny jokes, my sudden emotional shifts, my opinions, my laziness, my grammar corrections, my foul comments, my judging self, ME. These people put up with me and the craziness I came with. I love these people to death. I say "I love you" way too many times, but this time, I really mean it. I do not understand how these people managed to let me in to their lives. I have trouble letting people in mine, but with them, it was as easy as blinking my eyes. It also happened that fast. In just one blink, these people became part of my routine. I hate to think that that was the last time I was going to see them. I'm still hopeful, but I will not expect. Destiny. :)

For now, I will hang on to the little moments these people left me with. The arguments we let pass because even if we know we're all smart, we are better friends with each other. That one night when I had no place to sleep in and you guys accompanied me in Jollibee. The "Why do you think WE SHOULD hire you?" moment. That one night we ate Isko-ramble and stayed at the track oval to chat. That time when we raided bookstores in different malls. Those times in Sarahs/Drews/Delish/Sefali. Sleep overs in my house. New Year's eve in MOA. The egg yolks sucked. And who in her right mind would give an Octoberian sunflower seeds because there are no sunflowers in UP for Octoberians? :) These crazy people make me even crazier. But in a very good and kinda high way. :p

I love you guys so much. And it's almost scary how I mean it. Will still wait on destiny to do its job. :)

"Your kiss, I miss. Why did you leave me?"

Max's Unlimited Chicken Promo. It speaks for itself. When my orgmate asked everyone in the org to eat at Max's, I was determined to get my money's worth (and more). I was planning on eating about 10 servings of the famous chicken. I knew about that much could fit in my stomach so I was excited. I initiated a contest on who could eat the most number of chicken and everyone agreed to join.

And so it began.

We finally arrived at Max's and we were all eager to eat our first one. I was so cocky saying to my orgmates who ordered rice, "Wala na matatalo kayo, may kanin pa kayo," and bit off a chunk of the enormous breast of the chicken on my greasy hand. I ate slower than how I'd usually eat which really surprised me. Disregarding my slow pace, I was still in the game. My strategy was not to drink any fluids so I wouldn't feel bloated right away. It worked until my third serving. I was already feeling the chickens filling my stomach. I had to drink from my glass of iced tea because my throat felt dry. That did it. I felt full right away, but I was still able to push myself to have my fourth one (para maka-boundary lang :p). After that, the sight of chicken disgusted me. Whenever the waiter arrives holding a basketful of chicken, I felt like vomiting. I wanted to test my gag reflex but it didn't work. Promises not to eat chicken ever again were made. One of my orgmates ate 7 servings of the fattest, in my opinion, chickens that ever lived (and died). Kudos to her! Respect was earned that night. My stomach felt insecure to hers and the others'. Damn stomach, you let me down!

The chicken extravaganza wasn't the only thing that made my night. I was with the people who I don't usually hang out with that often and I actually had a blast. I wasn't with the same crowd that I was hanging out with for the past years. I overlooked how awesome these people really are. There wasn't a moment when we did not laugh out loud and caught the attention of the people from the other table and the waiters. Jokes and laughters were exchanged as we were throwing bones of the chicken on a plate that already resembled a tiny mountain towards the end of the night. It was refreshing to hang out with the "kids". I guess we just always called them that because we didn't hang out with them long enough to actually see who they are as individuals and not who they are collectively. I have found out that they are not as innocent as they claim they are.

It was nice making someone realize that the more we hate, the more we love (and it's true... but me, the more I love, the more I love <3). It was nice to find out that banana ketchup, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce go together. ;p It was nice to have the feeling of satisfaction na naka-boundary ka na. It was cool to be able to laugh through your nose with ease and poise. It was amazing to find out that the record for the most serving of chicken was 14. And it was amazing that we were all able to eat 43 servings of chicken in 2 hours.

Singing "Halik" by Aegis from Quezon Circle to Philcoa was the perfect way to seal the night of the 9 undergrad students/Glee hopefuls and the 11 poor, helpless, and FAT chickens they devoured.

PS: I really miss doing crazy things like this with the-same-crowd-that-I-was-hanging-out-with-for-the-past-years. I hope to see you guys real soon. Perhaps in forever and a day?

The Thieves That Love to Steal

It's been a week and a half since the start of summer vacation. Since then, there's been a ginormous body print of myself on my bed. One that may probably be permanent. I came up with this wake-up-breakfast-sleep-lunch-sleep-TV-internet-dinner-watch-movies-slash-play-PC-games-midnight-snack-sleep(@around4am) Routine which i followed for 5 straight days. My body blew up like a balloon with Tungsten Hexafluoride gas (at room temperature). I didn't notice it because I was busy telling myself, "This is the life!"

The last time I saw my friends was the weekend before I started The Routine. I was preparing myself to miss them real bad. My clingy-ness and I are mortal enemies. I almost always can't stand being away from friends. Whenever we say goodbye to each other, I feel like they're taking something valuable from me that I always look forward to getting back. Before undergoing The Routine, I promised myself that I was going to hide that valuable thing where they cannot see and take it. It was the perfect plan because I was going to be away from my friends for a long time since summer's arrived. (I don't usually take summer classes because I believe that summer VACATION is made to be had. But that argument is not for here.)

During the first week until yesterday, I was proud of myself because I wasn't missing them that much. I hid it well, I thought. I wasn't texting anyone, "haymissyou" or the plain and sincere, "I miss you." I wasn't posting to anyone's Facebook wall as usual. I was detached to the world and was VERY proud of it. But then today came. I had to go to school because I was gonna get a new ID (my current ID has lost its purpose of being able to identify me), ask the Econ admin about my priority status next semester (breathes deeply), and attend an org meeting. I found myself not looking forward to doing and finish doing all those things. I was looking forward to going to our tambayan and seeing my friends. When I finally met up with them, I couldn't shut myself up, and at the same time, I didn't wanna shut them up. I wanted to talk and hang out with them until it is physically impossible for us to stand each other. Our org meeting lasted for almost 2 hours because I couldn't stop myself from reacting to every little thing that my friends said (sorry about that by the way). When it was time to say goodbye, I only hugged the person that I may not be able to see for a long time. I didn't feel the need to hug the others because I will see them again real soon. When I was in the car, I realized that I had missed them all along. I was just stopping myself from smothering them with cheesiness because I figured that a person who shows his/her emotions often can become a target to people who are more than ready to hurt him/her. Being so attached to people melts down your shield and makes you vulnerable to anything. Being too attached is like having AIDS. It attacks your immune system and messes it up real bad so a little bump or scratch can be real fatal to the person.


The Routine was the best distraction. That valuable thing that I thought I hid oh so well was actually with them all this time. And now I got it back again. From now on, I will hide that valuable thing where NO ONE can find it. I will set up traps and mazes, check up on it everyday to make sure that it won't be stolen again, and hope that I can actually keep this up. I will bury it real deep so people can have a hard time digging it up. I must keep my friends as far away from it as possible. Those scheming little thieves!