The Yellow Light Means Slow Down Not Speed Up

I wish you could stop playing god so we could be great friends already.

I have probably showed you a buttload of affection before (or probably a shitload of NEED for your affection) that made you think I was madly in love with you, but to be honest, I just sought the attention (and the affection). Man, did I like the affection. The last intense affection I received was 6 years ago so forgive me for wanting it so bad. I liked being noticed by you because it meant that I was important. You showered me with sweetness (and again affection), and yes, I loved every drop of it. But that one time, when we sealed the night with something that I thought was such a bad idea the minute I thought of it, I didn't feel anything. Anything that would turn the question marks above my head into lightbulbs. I won't deny that I wasn't expecting to feel something, but when I didn't feel it, I knew that it meant we should just stay friends, and I was more than ok with that. But then you started being weird. You started thinking too much to the point that you were going 100 km/hr when I was only going 60.

I'd like to think that we are good friends. I actually BELIEVE that we are. You're the only person who I can ask subjective questions to and have a straight answer without unnecessary sugar-coating. You're probably the smartest person I know apart from my dad. And I liked how you pushed me to be happy when I wanted the world to be sad with me.

I just frickin' wish you could stop thinking for just a frickin' while. I wish you could see that yellow light lit ever so brightly approaching a red one. I don't feel those things that you think I feel towards you so you could just put the damn wall down and let me in. You need not be in tippy-toes when you're with me. Just be that bestfriend again that I can eternally be shallow with and not have any care about what other people thought. Be that bestfriend that I loved so much.

...Because, to be honest, I miss you like hell.